Testing....My Willpower

I am currently 8 days past my second IUI and happily I can report that I'm a LOT less paranoid this time around.  I have a ton of doubts about this cycle - for reasons I still haven't blogged about - but I've realized there's literally nothing I can do to make it work or not work so I'm going to save myself the stress.

Or at least I'm going to try.

Last time around I thought it would be really fun to pee on a stick even though I had an hcg trigger shot.  I tested positive on the day of the trigger, seven days after the trigger, and ten days past the trigger.  On the eleventh day I went out of town for what should have been a fun, even romantic distraction from the two week window.  Alas, I brought my pee sticks with me and continued to test positive up until the twelfth day after the trigger shot!  From my research it looked like most women test out their triggers by the 10th day so I was very excited.

Later that same night, however, I wiped and found bright red bleeding and lost my ever loving mind.  A test taken in a bathroom at a bar near Times Square showed my first negative and it was followed by another negative the next morning.  Some vacation, huh?

Now that I know, however, that I metabolize the hcg shot very slowly I have resolved to not pee on a stick until at least 13 days after the trigger shot, which isn't until Sunday.  That will only be 12 days after my IUI so it may still be too early to get a positive but at least my chances of a false negative are greatly reduced.

That's the plan anyway.  Here's hoping I can stay sane until then.

First IUI This Morning

I have been inseminated! I feel good. Well sometimes I feel wildly optimistic and sometimes I am thinking that it was just one big waste of time and resources and we'll need to do I.V.F.

So who knows.

I'm still processing it all to be honest.

I couldn't sleep last night because I was so jittery and the HCG trigger shot was giving me acid reflux really bad. Luckily DH was there to help out with a Prilosec and some TUMs. I chewed a few and declared they were the best things ever invented and I wanted to eat them all. Then I laughed because I remembered one of my favorite bloggers actually fell in love with Tums during her pregnancy, only to realize too late that she had eaten too many.

I've spent the day trying to figure out what could potentially be happening inside me right now. Presumably, fertilization happened early this morning. Next, the fertilized egg will move down the fallopian tubes and divides into a ball of cells. This process takes 3-4 days apparently. Then, the ball of cells floats in the uterus for 2-3 days. Why does it do this? Doesn't it want to get right down to the next step?

Implantation! Pregnancy begins IF the ball of cells decides to attach itself to the lining of the uterus. It is at this point - as early as 6 days from now - that I may potentially feel some symptoms. The implantation process takes 3-4 days to complete.

Up to half of all fertilized eggs don't implant. That seems like such a cruel waste. But there's nothing I can do but wait.