Monday, June 25, 2012

Keeping Busy, Cultivating A Better Me

It's Cycle 7, Day 14 and pretty much nothing is going on in my uterus.  Birth control is boring.  I'm a little bloated but that may just be a food baby.  Sadly, after being on it for over a decade, I really can't remember how birth control works.  I used to start a pack on Sunday and then get my period on the Tuesday of the placebo pills.  So does that mean I'll get my period in 10 days?  I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

I really hope this month kills the cyst and I can get started on my injectible cycle ASAP.  In the meantime I am just trying to keep busy and enjoying life.  I traveled out of town with my husband and friends the past two weekends and had a blast.  Yesterday I even bought a guitar and am teaching myself to play - something I've wanted to do forever.  AND on Wednesday my long awaited six week writing course will commence.

Hopefully in a few month's time I will know a couple of songs to play, have a short story finished and a baby on the way.  Or at least two of the three!

Friday, June 15, 2012

Cycle 7, Day 4

Sorry I haven't blogged since my negative beta. I was pretty down and also super busy at work. I had a whole six days between the beta and when my period showed up. In that time I had gone back and forth on what to do with this cycle - meds or sanity break. Finally I decided to plow forward with another IUI cycle only to find out I had developed a huge cyst on my right ovary. So I'm on a break - on birth control no less.

Make plans. God laughs. But I'm on my way to the beach right now, quite literally, using the Blogger app for the first time.

Happy summer!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012


Oh and some drama happened at work today too.

Still processing it.

I don't know how to write about it without sounding like the world's most dramatic person so I will just not write in this state of mind.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Cycle Six, Day Thirty Eight

I made good on my resolve to not test until twelve days past IUI#2, which was thirteen days after my hcg trigger shot since the trigger shot gave me false positives for twelve days during my first IUI cycle.

The waiting really wasn't that hard.  I kept busy and had fun. 

Then yesterday finally arrived.  DH left for the airport at some insane time like 4 a.m. and I didn't even get out of bed until 8.  I dragged myself to the bathroom, peed in a cup and proceeded to dip my LAST remaining FRER and a Wondfo from a care package that a dear pregnant friend sent to me for good luck.  I waited a few minutes and OMG is that a line?  The Wondfo was positive but the FRER was a BFN.  I dipped another Wondfo.  And then another.  My morning tally was 4 positive Wondfos, one negative Wondfo, and negative FRER.

I immediately went back to bed and just slept for three hours, occasionally turning on the light to look at the positive pee stick I had brought to bed with me.  I texted a picture of it to DH and he said he thought it was pretty faint and maybe it's just the trigger.  "It can't be!," I exclaimed.

Determined, I got out of bed and made my way to the drug store.  I have a loaner car from the dealership that has XM radio and it is amazing.  I could drive that car all day!  Which is odd because I hate driving!  I get to CVS and purchase a box of three FRER with a coupon and a box of Answer, then turn around and drive to the Dollar Tree and purchase 10 (yes 10!) cheapie tests.

My afternoon was even more promising.  A postitive FRER!  Sure the line was very faint but it was defiinitely there.  I dipped another Wondfo and got a squinter.  There may be a line but there may not be.  Answer was negative and so were two Dollar Trees.  But screw those other tests becasue the FRER was positive!  Cue excitement.

Then for reasons that escape me at this point I went out again later in the day and purchased a box of digitals and another box of FRERs. Two digital errors.  Two!  How could that happen?  And a couple of negative FRERs too.  To be honest I used SO many sticks yesterday that I have lost track now.  Later in the night I was persuaded by online friends to leave the comfort of my home and pajamas so that I would have MORE pee sticks for this morning.  $46 later I had more sticks.


Go to bed.

Wake up.  BFN on digital and maybe a squinter on my very last Wondfo and a I don't know if this is a line on the FRER.  That's where I am now.  I am probably the only person in the history of ever that takes 14 days to metabolize my hcg shot.  That can be the only explanation, right? 

My beta is tomorrow but I'm not too hopeful at this point.