Monday, January 16, 2012

Book Review: Irresistible Forces

The all-knowing Amazon tells me that I downloaded Brenda Jackson's Irresistible Forces on January 11, 2010, which makes sense because that was two days after my 30th birthday when I entered into the great world of e-readers. I picked it because it was free and probably didn't get around to reading it a few months later, when I quickly realized how pricey my speed reading plus instant access to thousands of books could get.

As of this reading, it is still free on Amazon. If it's not still free when you read this entry, then don't waste your money. It is awful. Awfully hilarious but awful nontheless.

With a cover that boasts the dubious distinction of being written by a "USA Today Bestselling Author," I should have known this was the kind of book written for an audience with the reading comprehension of a fifth grader.

Here's the story in a nutshell. Miss Super Successful Woman (SSW) has a great job, a great home, and is just so super happy and fulfilled with her life, she decides she wants to add a baby to the mix. You should know that she is totally happy. She is not looking for a man. At all. That does not even cross her mind. (Did you get that?) Her life is so perfect. Perfect I tell you.

Anyway, SSW approaches Really Attractive Perfect Man (RAPM) and asks him to serve as a sperm donor. But wait. SSW wants her baby to be conceived "with passion" so the plan is to go on a romantic vacation and have sex. RAPM has to think about it. Is this ethical? Can he just give his sperm away like that? Yes, yes he decides he can.

SSW and RAPM go to exotic island. It is the most romantic vacation ever, overshadowing even that other ridiculous book about going to a island to have romantic baby-making sex. They have SO MUCH SEX. It is the best sex ever. It is the sex to end all sex.

Vacation ends. SSW and RAPM go their separate ways. SSW gets pregnant. OF COURSE SHE DOES. I mean, that's how this all works, right? RAPM falls in love with SSW. SSW does not want a man. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, RAPM is rich. Of course he is. Really rich, like his parents live in Switzerland or Sweden rich. Some other stuff happens. They live happily ever after. The End. I just ruined the book for you. You're welcome.

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