How I Talked Myself Out of a Thousand Dollar Stroller

Okay, first off, not pregnant. Nobody panic. But after taking my very first Clomid pill last night in anticipation of my first (and hopefully last!) IUI I got a little excited about the possibility of an actual New Year's baby. So the solution to this, of course, was to create a hypothetical baby registry on Buy Buy Baby. You know, for fun. And because I am crazy.

Then I saw it. It was so beautiful. It was the stroller to rival every other stroller known to woman. It was $1049.

I am talking about the Stokke Xplory Stroller. You can get it for the bargain price of $899 right now on Amazon if you want purple. But I don't want purple. I want blue. Duh!

The reviews and product description were very compelling. Why would you want your baby so close to the ground? Don't you want to pull them right up to the table at an outdoor cafe? Don't you want to interact with your baby while you're walking down the street, showing them the sights? Don't you want to bond? Don't you love your baby?

Delighted moms and dads chimed in on Amazon that they were SO NOT the thousand dollar stroller people but they were so glad they bought this particular thousand dollar stroller because of all its advantages. I pictured myself walking miles a day with my New Year's baby, a boy named Benjamin or Maxwell. Who will probably grow up to be president.

I devised a plan where I squirreled money away for a few months secretly and then have the stroller delivered one day while my husband wasn't home, later convincing him I had found it at a yard sale for a steal. "Practically giving it away," I would swear. I imagined other mothers stopping me in the street and asking me about my stroller and me saying "Why thank you. Yes it was made in Norway."

Luckily the high only lasted a little while before I came to my senses and realized how unbelievably cold it was going to be in January. And oh yeah, I don't like walking for miles. Not to mention what the hell am I going to do with the baby if they fall asleep in their car seat? Pay more money for the car seat adapter? Oh hell no! Am I on drugs? Yes, I am, but that's a different story.

Seriously, if I want to bond with the baby I fully intend on using a Moby wrap. Which I then registered for. Much cheaper.

This hypothetical shopping trip brought to you by Clomid.